As well as having to pay for my Green Card from the ’emergency/rainy day fund’ (See “My Green Card Application“), I had to save his car. Considering the amount of money that had passed through his hands leading up to the purchase of his vehicle (see “Western Union Money Order“), the onus shouldn’t have been on me to pay the outstanding balance on his car, but it was our only mode of transport. I really wasn’t happy about it.
How did this come about? Well he was extremely rude to his family. I’m a true believer in the saying “Never bite the hand that feeds you”. *Steve’s step-mother didn’t have to go through the lengths she did to help him out, and took a risk signing for this loan on his behalf. Rather than be grateful, he said some really awful things via private message on Facebook (he was going to post it publicly, but I told him not to. In fact, I told him not to send the message at all as I felt it was wrong), to which his step-mother sent and email requesting he pay the balance of the loan full. To make things worse, he was on his step-mother’s car insurance, so she told him he would have to take out his own insurance policy. I couldn’t understand why he would treat someone like that after she had done so much for him. I did ask and his response was that it ran deeper than what I’ve seen and know. What could I say to that? I really didn’t know the ins and outs of it all, so I certainly couldn’t argue about that.
(Email between Steve and his step-mother).
Steve’s response to the email was that I had brought money with me from the UK, so was able to pay the outstanding balance in full (which was most of it), without him having to get a loan. The thing is, he couldn’t get a loan! He had bad credit from being overdrawn/negative on his prior account all the time. I noticed that he had said, and I quote: “Oh and we didn’t take out a loan for it, Persia (you know my bullying abusive wife that everyone dislikes so much) brought enough from the UK and paid off the loan… she is such a horrible person!!!”. This really baffled me as I didn’t get the impression that they thought I was a bully or abusive – In fact I have no idea where he got this notion from. He had sent this email without me seeing it first.
This explains a lot. I was to find out later that he had been telling his family untruths about me, as he was telling me untruths about his family. He didn’t like the fact that we all got along really well, excluding him. Steve really stooped low. So low with lies, that I stopped talking to his family. Crying, I was so stressed out from the things he was telling me. He told me his father called me a “nigger” and said I was stuck up; his father also said I was using him for a Green Card (bearing in mind I didn’t want to leave England in the first place); that his sisters said it was my fault that he didn’t talk to his daughter; his step-mother simply didn’t like me… the list goes on. He had nothing to say about what his mother had said because they hadn’t been talking to each other for a while, for their own reasons. I was devastated. I couldn’t understand why they hated me so. It was all lies of course. Simply a part of Steve’s plan to isolate me. I realised this during my pregnancy when Steve told me to give up my family and friends saying I didn’t need them. He was my family and I was his and when our son was born, that our family would be complete.
By this point, I just didn’t care what he was capable of and said he must have eaten a bowl of crazy for breakfast. I told him straight up that it was not going to happen. No doubt it scared him a little, because I sure as hell didn’t comply with this demand.
(*Not his real name)