Well, Hello Mr. Crazy

beauty and the beast

Calling him “Mr. Crazy” is putting it mildly to say the least. There are things he did, which no ‘normal’ human being would do. It never ceased to amaze me just how low *Steve would stoop, nor how far he would go to get his point across. Thinking about it, I believe he’s gone past controlling (I’m not even sure if that’s possible, or even what the next stage would be called!). I have to admit, I can see why his family does not talk to him, and why he has very few friends – if any at all. Here are some of the things to explain why I have awarded him such a title:

  • He took the locks off the extended stay hotel door so I couldn’t shut him out. That way, he could come in and out as he pleased, taunting me, laughing as he did so.
  • I found text messages in his phone to *Peter whom we stayed with in Upstate New York, calling me “crazy bitch”, not to mention someone else he had been texting too. He was calling me a crazy bitch because I was sick of being penniless, homeless, tired and hungry. (See “Heavily Pregnant, Hungry And Homeless“). I’m sure you’ve guessed that he had not mentioned any of these things. His sole purpose was to make me look like the bad person.
  • Being six foot and  260 lbs+ (and getting bigger still, yet I wasn’t allowed to eat), he threw his weight against the front door on numerous occasions, so I couldn’t leave the apartment. His weight would be one of the reasons the Army wanted to chapter him. (See “I Saved Him From Being Kicked Out Of The Army“). I am five foot three inches, was pregnant and weighed approximately 140 lbs before my pregnancy.
  • After moving to the US on March 3rd 2012, a week later, we attended the Military Ball. It would be at this point that I would really find out the degree of his lying.  Steve had told his colleagues that when I was still living  in the UK, I wouldn’t allow him to go out; I would only allow him to go to work, then come home and talk to me on Skype. Yet it was I who suggested he go out and have a life, but he told me he didn’t like them. He only spoke to them because he worked with them. To top it off, they confronted me and asked me why I wouldn’t let him go out. I told them it was untrue, so he was left unable to explain why he had lied. What he did say, was that we all misunderstood him.
  • I found messages to one of his ex’s dated August 2010, yet when we started talking in September 2010, he told me that he hadn’t spoken to her for a year. This is the same ex whom he had been engaged to and had been dating (apparently) for three years, but had only seen once. The same ex who found out she couldn’t have children, so when I fell pregnant, he promptly contacted her gloating that I, his wife, was pregnant. You have got to be a really twisted individual to get satisfaction from something like that.
  • Wanting to go out to get away from him, without realising, as the main account holder on our cell/mobile accounts, he set up a tracker on my phone. For a couple of days, I’d notice that he wouldn’t fight me if I wanted to leave. Once I’d left the apartment, he still find out where I was – my exact location. One day, I left without my phone. He didn’t show. I enjoyed the time away from him. When I returned he was so mad that I hadn’t taken my phone. At first I thought it was because he had tried calling. I checked. He hadn’t. Upon checking the bill, it all made sense. The phone company had introduced a tracking app for parents who wanted to know their children were safe. It must have been during one night when I was asleep that he installed it onto my phone.
  • When we’d go to the supermarket straight after he’d finished work (which meant he’d still be wearing his uniform), people would take the time out to thank him for his service (if only they know the truth…). He either walk off, or grunt. He even had the nerve to say to me that those people were fake. They had no respect for him. They wouldn’t show the same respect if he wasn’t wearing it. OK, Mr. Crazy, they don’t actually know you… It was nothing short of rude and embarrassing. I used to make it my duty to apologise to them and thank them on his behalf.
  • He took me to the hairdressers – once. Whilst getting my hair done, which surprisingly, he paid for, Steve bought me a pair of Nike flip flops. Returning with them, in front of every one he got down on his knees and put them on my feet. I knew it was all a show and felt ill. He just wanted his ego fed by the strangers around me, who would ultimately (I assume) think he was a wonderful guy. It was nothing to do with making me feel good. When we argued later, he’d remind me that he had taken me to the hairdressers and that he had bought me footwear, which he didn’t have to do.
  • Roses are my favourite flowers. One day, whilst in the supermarket I saw a  rather large, deep red one. It was beautiful (and discounted!). He saw me looking at it and said we had no money for it. I just wanted to look at it’s beauty for a moment, and certainly was not expecting him to buy it. As we were queuing at the checkout, he went back to get the rose, which I was unaware of. The checkout was very busy. When it was our turn to be served, he picked up the rose in front of everyone and got down on one knee asking him to marry him all over again. I must say, I have to give him props for a great show! Well done Steve! *Sarcasm*. Of course people who did not know him were smiling. The cashier said something to me (I can’t remember what it was, I just wanted to get the hell out of what felt like a freak show), but I do remember telling her she could have him. Again, it was all about feeding his narcissistic, psychotic, sociopathic, egotistic self.

christopher

The reason I had given him so many chances to begin with, was because I thought the distance was to blame. To be honest, I’m glad he forced me to move to the US with him. The reason? If we had kept a long distance relationship like we had in the beginning, it would have taken me much longer to see his true colours in full. I would have given him more years than I already have. I’m just grateful it was only two and a half years, of which only one year was spent living with him full time. The experiences though, was enough to last me a lifetime.

(*Not their real names)

60 thoughts on “Well, Hello Mr. Crazy

  1. I still hold to my opinion that ours are evil twin brothers. Oddly enough though, I have become increasingly blase in my attitude about Kevin, but when I read these posts for other survivors, it pushes my button like you wouldn’t believe. Why is this?

    I understand why you have relief that you relocated when you did. People on the outside who have never experienced this madness cannot understand, but I do. There is gratitude in this post, my wonderfully strong, courageous, bold, and beautiful (inside and out) friend… I see gratitude.

    You may not, and you may not see all these amazing things about yourself yet, but you will.

    Love you 🙂

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    • Evil twin brothers indeed. I second that. I can’t believe how similar the two are. Scary…

      Thank you for the compliment. I really appreciate it – especially as I’m still struggling with ‘me’.

      Love you too. x

      Like

  2. Yikes, this guy really is a nutter. I mean, I’m a narc, but this stuff goes way beyond that. I would be scared shitless of someone like that.

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  3. Wow, the more I hear about this guy, the more it just blows me away – the egomania, the shameless contradictions, the barefaced deceit…

    The father of my child used to make a big show of how much he loved me to anyone that would listen. Yes, he’d also (once in a blue moon) make a lavish display of taking me out shopping for something frivolous. Never mind that it was actually MY money that he was spending, since I shouldered all of the bills single-handedly while he sponged off me regularly after he’d blown his cash on whatever vice he was into at the time. It all made it so much harder for me to accept the cruelties that he dished out when nobody was there to see.

    It is a testament to your enormous resilience Persia, that you overcame a situation like that and you continue to go from strength to strength x

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    • Right? Yet he has the audacity to say I bring out the worst in people and I’m the controlling one. Hmm…

      So you know first hand how it feels. The supermarket and hairdresser incident – he had spent all my money by then, so I had no choice but to ‘rely’ on him. But his car, the furniture, most things he’s still currently using were bought by me with my money I earned from my TV & Film career on the UK. Also that of his car. I had no choice but to save the car because it was our only mode of transport. Yet, I was not allowed to say it was ours. The list goes on and on and on…

      Thank you. Although I must admit, I do stumble – almost falling at times – but I keep going because of my WP followers and my son.

      Love and hugs.

      Like

    • Oh my gosh… exactly! Honestly, towards the end, I started to question myself “Was it me? Was I in the wrong?”. It clearly wasn’t me, but being in such a situation for long enough, one starts to feel that the only thing to do is to blame oneself.

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  36. Wow! I don’t know what to say other than I am so sorry that you had to go through that. those who have never been in an abusive situation can’t even understand what is like. It seems unimaginable that someone could be capable of such behavior, words and such, but unfortunately, that is the hard truth. God freed you and Max from that life and AMEN that he did.
    God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

    • So true; some don’t understand. I remember watching ‘Sleeping with the Enemy’ years ago. I thought “There’s no way a man that crazy could exist”. Boy, was I wrong! I had nothing else but faith and hope to hang on to, then my son was born. This little one has no idea how he helped me to gain strength (as well as God) to continue. I knew I didn’t want my son to grow up in such an environment. When a window of opportunity came, I took it. Didn’t look back. x

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      • No they don’t. I get frustrated when I hear others say, “she’s stupid. She deserves it if she is going to stay. Why does she stay? F that! That’s stupid. Grrr.
        Those who have never been there should say nothing. We can pray for people who are going through something but we honestly cannot begin to understand what it is like until we walk in there shoes.
        As weird as it sounds that is one of my favorite movies. Partly a reminder of what to avoid, thankful that I’m not near anything like that anymore and the other thing is it shows the strength and will power of a victim to live. Plus I love when she gets her own place that is encouraging and then she picks apples from Ben’s yard, her neighbor and then they have a little dress up date.

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      • I really dislike people being judgemental about it. I had no money, not food, no transport but I sure was not going to let anything happen to my son. Some are not so lucky, or they may not have the strength to get out. Everyone is different. Every situation is different. I have to agree; I loved it too, when she moved into her own place. She looked so at peace… until her husband turned up of course.

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