*Steve and his family have some serious issues – some of which I was unaware of until later on. It is very clear, that this family has been messed up way before I met him.
I remember him being in the US and me being in the UK when he sent this message to his family. He sent it on to me afterwards. Out with a friend, I showed her the message when it came through – she was so shocked. At least she can back me up to say I was in the UK at the time, and that I was with her when I received it. I had no idea he was going to send it. In fact, once I read it, I told him he was wrong. I still think he was wrong and downright out of order for sending it – despite what they have put me through and have said about me.
At one point I did cut his family off, but it was after a discussion with Steve, whereby he said I should, because I was in tears with the constant drama I was being dragged into.
I don’t know why his family thought I was abusive – if what he has written is the truth, but I do remember Steve constantly joking that I beat him. I asked him to stop numerous times because it made me feel uncomfortable. I guess he got this sort of ‘joke’/warped sense of humour from his father, as he too, says things about his current wife – the Step Mother – such as he’s going to kill her for insurance money. Each to their own I guess, but I don’t like it being done/said about me.
Certain points are in bold so they stand out.
Steve, 18/02/2012 00:45 – to you all, i have tried very hard not to allow my emotions and my anger to cloud my judgement, as many of you know i am a very angry person, and i have recently started doing to therapy and taking medication to deal with my anger, my ptsd, and my many different quirks… i have also recently learned that my brain has a few things wrong with it, i wont go into detail but after having an mri, the things found in my brain are permanent and potentially dangerous! so please no that what i am saying now has nothing to do with the anger that i harbor, nor does it come from a spur of the moment decision… it has been revealed to me that i am a classic case of ptsd, aided by being what is known as an Adult Child of an Alcoholic… i posted on my page all of the papers i was given on the subject, now i have heard a few things in the last few months that are not adding up, i have been told that family should not slag off family on public display of face book, however when dad out of nowhere commented on (a cousin’s) post i was right there supporting him, however i dont see why it was at all necessary for anyone to comment on his post! i supported him because it was my understanding that family must always support family, and yet when i had a situation in Montana, i posted something about it on my facebook in order to make it known what happened so that i could get the support from my family that i needed, it would have been better if everyone had remained silent on the subject, however at first i got the support and then it was yanked away from me, that hurt! badly, and then to hear people blaming my wife for all of this, when in fact this had been waiting to happen for years, how long did you all think i would wait before i took an aggressive stance?
it cost us over $3,000 for that little jaunt up to Montana, and it has cost me close to that amount each time i have gone there on my own…
prior to all of this, when i was staying at dad’s in march we had a couple of encounters over my wife, the first one, dad you said to me that Persia was merely after a green card, the second was when we were at the lodger and you showed me her facebook post, and on both occasions you assumed something that was not true, and then brought these assumptions to me without once asking me about them, that is unacceptable, i would have explained everything had i been asked, i tried to ask you why you did not like Persia with these examples as proof, however all i wanted was an explanation, i didnt jump you with accusations and assumptions i wanted very much to give you the opportunity to explain your reasoning to me, instead you said you had been drinking and did not remember these exchanges, if that is the case then i say this out of love for you, i believe its time you stop drinking dad!
i gave Persia permission to delete and block whom ever she chose to, at the time she was in tears over being accused of things she had not done… and unfortunately it was not until i read those papers about being an Adult Child of an Alcoholic that i realized that i was still trying desperately to get all of your approval! so at times i tried blaming her as well, and for that i will never forgive myself, and i also now see that none of you truly know who i am, i am not so weak minded that i will allow anyone to bully me, nor will i allow anyone to abuse me. i joke around that Persia beats me, that is not true, she never has, in fact she is the reason i am as sane as i am now, when she found me she has told me on many occasions that i had no life or light in my eyes, and its true so many times after i got back from iraq i was close on many different times to just taking my own life and ending what was truly an unending pain, imagine going 8 years having a continual nonstop throbbing right behind your eyes, then add to that not sleeping well, as in on a good night i would wake up 6 to 7 times in a night, and during the intervening time having nightmares of things i will never be able to fully express in words, and being so anxious that going to walmart is a nightmare all in itself, dad i know you can more than imagine this.
also Persia has never looked down on any of us, she is by nature, shy and also very proper, so when she came to meet everybody the first time, she was very shy thus reverting to being proper, she was so excited to meet everyone and she loved all of you as family, so imagine how much hurt she went through when she found out that many of you have blamed her for what happened in montana, and as for her post on facebook, i never felt there was anything wrong with her posting whatever she wants to on her page, as well that has never stopped any of you from posting whatever the hell you want on your pages.
i have always been a bit of a black sheep of this family, or at least that is how i have been made to feel! this last holiday season, dad and step mother drove to visit both Amber and Anna, Persia was not intending to come see me until she made the move out here, but she came here so i would not be alone for christmas… yeah she really is an evil bitch isnt she? not to mention somehow people managed to go to alaska to visit Amber during her time, and yet i was left completely alone in germany for 4 years!!!! what the hell? not that i am complaining that time allowed me to develop a deep and unchangeable ability to manage independently. not to mention that as a kid when i was very angry, no one tried to reach out to me, more often than i care to imagine i was left very much alone, and i felt alone for most of my life, until now, i had hoped that everyone would get along, that my family(you all) and my family(Persia) would be able to co-exist, i never imagined all the drama that would root from trying to get that to happen.
Anna im sorry that our friendship hasnt panned out so well, but i cannot agree that simply because we are family that i am bound to take your side over anything, even when my family didnt support me, i gave freely to you, and i was shocked and disturbed when certain things i thought what i was giving was going to did not go through as i was led to believe they would be! not too mention when i accidentally paid for everyones phone bill, dad and Step Mother paid me back and you never did, i you never even brought it up, i let it go, and if you had asked me about it and told me that you would not be able to pay me back i would have insisted you didnt need to… also i am not understanding how if you are/were as in debt as i was told, how you managed to get your hair done, nails done, and drive around a gas guzzler, but i figured that wasnt my business, but dont think i didnt pay attention to what was happening around me!
now i read a post that dad is a disabled veteran and deserves respect, i couldnt agree more! he does deserve respect! but am i not also a disabled veteran? do not deserve respect? why can you not believe that i can and will make decisions for my life, and yes Persia and i have been rocky at times, however, we have grown together, and her family has always supported us, hands down, no questions asked… so how can i pretend that our family is functional and healthy? it isnt! my therapy has told me that your family are just people, people you love yes, but the choices we make are left to us alone, no one else is involved! and i chose to marry Persia, I chose to make her my family… and i am definitely as stubborn as any Xxxxxxxxxx!
so now i am going to do as a few members of my family have already done, dad you kept us away from alot of your side of the family until we were older, uncle Xxxxx has not been in contact with anyone since he decided enough was enough, or so i can only assume considering i hardly knew him. by the time you have read this, i have unfriended and blocked all of you, i will continue to pay my portion of the phone bill, but soon i will be out of that plan, i will also pay for the car insurance and the car loan, do not worry about that, but please, do not message me, do not call me, if you have any respect for me, please respect that! if you love me, stay away from me!
As you can see, (the last sentence), he states to me that the message had already been sent. See? It had nothing to do with me.
I would never, ever disrepect any member of my family like this – nor have I ever.Yet I’m being accused of being rude.
Yep, I’m the current scapegoat!