Domestic Abuse Is About Perpetrators Using Their Control, Not Losing Control


I came across this link/article on Twitter yesterday titled “It’s Time The Law Changes – Domestic Abuse Is About Perpetrators Using Their Control, Not Losing Control” written by Laura Richards ~ Chief Executive of Paladin, author of DASH Risk Model and the book Policing Domestic Violence.

Behaviours included:

isolation from friends, family and colleaguesAbusing Me Whilst Pregnant, He Started To Call Me Ugly” / “He Wanted Me To Work Whilst He Stayed At Home“);
excessive jealously; (*Steve hated it when I even so as said “Hello” to a random person on the street – especially if the person was a guy. He’d say “Why are you talking to him?”. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone unless he said so.)
removal of all communications devices (“Verbal Abuse” third bullet point down);
food and use of the toilet being withheld (“Heavily Pregnant, Hungry And Homeless” / “Finding Ourselves In Up State New York” ;
control of what the victim would wear (“It Was His Money, Not Mine” sixth bullet point down);
how they would style their hair and where they could work, if they were allowed to at all (“And So The Lies Continue“) / When *Steve did start complaining and saying that I had to work after he had previously told me not to, he told me I was not allowed to get part time work in Kroger (supermarket), I had to work in Waffle House;
stalking by means of tracking and following (“Well, Hello Mr. Crazy” / “Steve Stalking Me On Twitter“);
financial control including restricting the victim from using any money or having any control over bills (“It Was His Money, Not Mine“);
deliberate sleep deprivation (“Our Disastrous Trip To New York Whilst Heavily Pregnant” / “Our Son Is Born” sixth paragraph down) ;
threats of sexual abuse or rape (“Married Or Not, No Means No“);
threats to harm or kill children and/or pets (“Kittens – Rupert, Stewart And Jacob” / “My Precious Girls Oxanna And Pheonix“);
threats of physical harm such as broken bones or strangulation (“Physical Abuse ~ Part One” / “Today Is My Birthday“).

All information in brackets are some of my own personal experiences with my (ex) husband *Steve.

Click here to read it.

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