Power and Control Phases of Narcissistic Relationships

“How a narcissist represents themselves to the public is different than how they view themselves from within and behind closed doors.” ~ The Lost Self – Life After Narcissism

“The narcissist has to value this supply because it’s truly all he has, it’s the lifeline for his existence, for his ability to move forward from one relationship to the other.” ~ The Lost Self – Life After Narcissism

The Lost Self - Life After Narcissism


In order to understand the idealization, devalue, and discard phase of the relationship one must understand how narcissist energy is acquired and maintained throughout a relationship.

When one enters into a mutual relationship it’s based on two healthy adult individuals who have one common goal in mind to be together, through unconditional love, mutual understanding, commitment, honor, respect, loyalty and trust. However for a narcissist a relationship involves a source of supply which is seen as an exciting new “investment”.

Normal relationships often provide a new sense of excitement, being with someone can enhance one’s emotions and sense of self normally.

For a narcissist this is taken to the extreme, as they know they need their own needs met, they must sustain their sense of grandiose imagery, and they must satisfy their grand egos. The most important of these emotional needs is to be the subject of attention in order…

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