What’s Been Going on?

Hello my WP family!

I hope you are all well.

So, what has been going on in the world of Persia? The last time I posted about myself, I had Acute Sinusitis. After taking meds, I am still in the sixth week of this cold! What the hell?! At least the pain in my head is bearable, and the pain in my face has gone. I can function better now.

Also, after applying for a divorce back in the beginning of October 2014 in England, UK, it was granted last year, and has been finalised. I am so relieved to be FREE!!!!!!! My son’s father has not made any attempts to contact his son for twelve months or more, therefore, under English Law, I am the full custodial parent. In fact, it has been almost three years since contact was made between he and I, bearing in mind, Max is three years old. That’s my son’s entire life. This is despite him having my UK mobile/cell number and my Hotmail email address – both of which I will have had for sixteen years this year, and still continue to use. He managed to call my UK mobile/cell, trying to rub my face in the fact he had entered another relationship, telling me to fight his girlfriend for him (as if I was going to do that. He’s no prize, I can assure you), but could not call to see how his son was/is doing over the years.

My ex husband was nowhere to be found to serve him the divorce papers. He had disconnected his cell number, moved out of the extended stay hotel we lived in (he moved his girlfriend in with mine and my newborn’s things still in the studio, and she happily accepted), the storage unit had been emptied and the account closed. I was unable to contact him, but this was and is the norm for him. He did not want anyone to know where we were, so liked to move and change his details frequently. I remember when we moved from Savannah, Georgia, eventually moving to Marietta, GA, he refused to tell Montana Child Support where he was at the end of 2012, so he could avoid paying support to his daughter. I was the one who wrote a letter by hand, and posted it to them, telling them where we were. This is the same daughter who is nine years old, but has only seen her father three times in her life. And the third time was because I was with him, and told him he should take time out to be in his child’s life (Max had not been conceived yet). It was I who arranged the trip for him to see her in December 2011.

It was I, who made sure that he sent her birthday and Christmas presents. The last time I heard, since he and I have gone our separate ways, his daughter has received nothing from him. Says a lot, huh? Yet he has had a third child, by a third ‘woman’. The girlfriend who participated in slagging me off, has another child by another man, whom she does not live with, (she was caught shoplifting whilst pregnant, so this is probably why she does not live with her), and from my ex, for which I have written evidence (2013), states that she does not support. They have four children between them, by different mothers and fathers.  All by the age of twenty-seven for him, and twenty-three for her.

I guess it is what it is, and to be honest, Max is getting along just fine. He is developing extremely well – to include being feisty! He is enjoying his new pre-school and learning a new language, Spanish. As soon as he walks in, he shouts “Hola!” to the staff. When I collected him earlier this week, she said “Mummy, nursery mañana”, telling me he has nursery tomorrow! It is too cute, and I am one proud mummy.

My son has settled well in the UK, so the fact that his father has no interest in him, works in my favour. The fact that my ex husband suggested I book a one way ticket to the UK with our son (in the US, both parents have to sign for a minor’s passport), and he would follow, but didn’t, worked in my favour too, as he is a very abusive individual. Very abusive indeed. I actually knew he wouldn’t follow, as he did not want the responsibility of Max, thus I escaped legally and with his permission, from my abuser. The fact that he had the booking/flight details works in my favour. The fact that he drove us to the airport to see us off knowing where we were going, works in my favour.

I recently came across messages between he and I in the first half of 2013. He refused to help financially with his son, said that someone tried to steal his wallet, tried to break into his car, and a bunch of other lies as to why he could not help me financially, and how he wanted to be free. Not once did he say I had to return our son. Not once did he say I had run off with him. In fact, at one point, I said that I was not happy, because I was a grown woman with a child, who had to return to the UK to live with her mother because I was broke. He said he knew, and that it was all his fault.

I also found a message whereby I had asked him for a divorce in 2012, for which he refused. He had actually stated that he would never grant me a divorce, and would continue to make my life hell.

As time went on, he had no idea how Max was being fed or clothed, nor was he bothered. Instead, he and his girlfriend were eating out, he was taking her to Regal Nail shop, purchasing female clothing – all of which I could see, as it was happening in our joint bank accounts, sending them negative. But there was no money for our son. I pleaded with him to stop, but he did not. I have copies of bank statements to prove this. Then, no doubt trying to impress his girlfriend, blamed me for him having no money, because I had to physically go back to the US in 2013 to close the bank accounts, as he ruined my credit. In actual fact, he was just a broke ass deadbeat, who couldn’t be bothered to work, so used me as a scapegoat to get his girlfriend to pay the rent.

In addition to all of this, it was not I who declared that I had met someone else (23rd April 2013), a mere forty-two days after our son and I had returned to the UK (12th March 2013). It was in fact my ex. Max was just four months old. Then, fifty days after our return, (eight days after him meeting this person), it was declared that they were in relationship (1st May 2013). Six weeks after they got together, they were engaged, whilst he was still legally married to me. He proposed to me just four weeks after he and I started dating. However, the relationship status changed and stated, that they were engaged on 1st May 2013. He had money to buy an engagement ring, but no money to help to support his son. One can clearly see where his priorities lie.

I am glad I came across these messages, as never one to bad mouth my ex in front of him, Max will ask about his father one day. At that point, I still will not bad mouth him, but will simply say his father and I did not work out. If he persists, at an age where he can understand, I will show my son the messages where I had asked his father to be in his life but he instead, wanted to “have a life”, so Max can make up his own mind. Whatever went on between my ex and I will stay that way; Max does not need to know his father almost killed me through suffocation with a pillow over my face, when I was pregnant with him. Nor does he need to know that his father tried to do the same again in front of him when he was a newborn, lying in his crib, as well as his father trying to strangle me to death, to the point it hurt to swallow my saliva and there was a clicking noise in my neck. Not to mention him dislocating my knee, for which neither I was allowed to go to the hospital for.

On another note, 2015 was a little rough for my liking. An aunt died in July, my step-dad felt another stroke coming on in September (he had one in August 2012 during the time I was being abused, and I had no way of getting back to the UK to see him), and one of my sisters was told in October she needs an operation. Although this year has started off in the wrong direction, due to my being ill, I do hope it will get better. In fact I have to believe it will.

 Anyway, it’s Friday which means I get to have a the rest of the day, plus the weekend to entertain Master Maximus!

Much love to you all. ❤

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25 thoughts on “What’s Been Going on?

  1. When a close relative of mine had a stroke, it prompted me to write these three posts: https://prosperityandcalamities.wordpress.com/2015/10/01/life-happens/, https://prosperityandcalamities.wordpress.com/2015/10/04/just-do-it/, https://prosperityandcalamities.wordpress.com/2015/10/29/stroke/. Maybe you’ll find something good in there. Strokes can be much crazier than I ever would have imagined, my relative has been in the hospital/extended care for 4 months now. On another note, don’t worry too much about Max, with a good mom – he’ll be alright. I grew up without a dad until age 11 and honestly just thought I didn’t have one and that was okay with me.

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    • Thank you for your comment. I shall take a look at these posts. I am sorry to hear about your relative, and hope s/he is getting better.
      Also, your words are kind, and thank you for telling me of your experience. Max doesn’t understand yet that his father isn’t around. Because he was so young when I left his father, I don’t think he will be at all bothered by a complete stranger, who was deliberately absent in his life.

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  2. This doesn’t make easy reading, Persia. I am glad you are both in a better place, and that Max can’t access this yet. Incidentally, he has been slacking on his blog, perhaps because you have been too unwell to help him. 🙂

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    • Thanks Derrick. We certainly are in a better ‘place’. I already have in my head, what I will be saying to him when the time comes…
      Yes, unfortunately, I have been unwell, so I haven’t had time to help him 😀 . I have only managed to gather material for Positive Quotes and Just Sayings. I think Monday will be better. I expect to start training/exercising again, so will feel better within myself, thus allowing me to do more than mope about being ill!

      Liked by 1 person

    • I try to make others feel better, rather than talk about what is going on with me. Thanks – I am free and I am doing well, but there is more. However, I am just getting on with my life, and ensuring that my little Munchkin (my son) is having the life he deserves. xo

      Liked by 1 person

      • I understand that but I’m sure others would love to make you feel better too. You know, return the favor in a sense. That’s what I love to hear. I hope you do remain free and well. You and your son definitely do deserve better! It sounds like the move to the UK was for the better 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I hear you, but I find it hard not helping others first. I think you are right though.
        You’re too kind. Thank you for your uplifting words. I really appreciate them.
        Much love to you. x

        Liked by 1 person

      • Of course because you’re so used to putting people’s needs before your own… You think so? I try. I sincerely mean them too. Much love to you as well!

        Liked by 1 person

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