On This Day Three Years Ago

I was reminded of this post on Facebook this morning. On this day, three years ago I wrote:

Sorry, this is a long but meaningful post…
A year ago today, the exact time (Eastern Time), stood in Aldi with just the clothes on my back (to include broken footwear) with my 5 day old son, to do some Christmas food shopping. I had $11 (approximately £8) in total. There was no Christmas Tree. No presents. No food. Just a small, cramped, draughty, mould infested room that we were due to get kicked out of 4 days before Christmas if rent money wasn’t found.
Just the day before, I was handed 2 cannisters of formula from a paediatrician for free because she could see the state I was in. I couldn’t say anything because I was so ashamed that I was put in such a situation by someone else. I suppose as a mother herself, she could sense something was wrong. I cried. Max had food for at least 2 weeks. Bearing in mind just a day earlier at just 3 days old, my son had run out of formula Wellstar Kennestone Hospital had kindly given me, knowing I was in need.
I found a way to get formula. Thank God for Babies “R” Us taking international payments online, otherwise Max would have gone hungry as I didn’t have my credit card on me. I’d spoken to my mother a few months earlier who gave me my credit card details to write down in case of an emergency. I refused to tell her, the rest of my family and my friends what was going on.
All this suffering and pain caused by Max’s father because he’s selfish and only thought about himself. Cigars, cigarettes and junk food for him were more important than making sure his son was fed, and had a roof over his head – despite the amount of money we initially had. It was all gone due to his reckless spending. His behaviour was shabby to say the least. That’s putting it mildly. This is just a “taste” of what I experienced out in the US with him. I walked away from him and have never looked back.
However, I have forgiven him – not just because God says I have to, but so I can find peace within myself. I don’t want Max growing up seeing me bitter and twisted. I will never forget though. Ever.
This year Max is so spoilt! No where near going hungry or homeless because of an irresponsible father. In fact, he has a Christmas Tree, food in abundance, no mould and Christmas will be celebrated as I know it. The roof is permanent for as long as I need/want it.
I only want 2 presents this year and I already have them. 1) My son Maximus and 2) the knowledge that he will never remember the poverty he was unnecessarily born into. The cost? Priceless. The best things in life are free.
If I don’t get a chance to post a status closer to Christmas, have a blessed one all. Sending love from Max and I.♡X♡X

As time has gone by, even though I am not where I thought I would be, I look back and realise things could be a lot worse. Just like they were back then.

I am thankful I am no longer in such a situation, but more so, I am thankful that my little boy does not know the poverty he was unnecessarily born into, by the actions of someone who should have known better. Someone who was supposed to make sure he was provided for, rather than just thinking about himself. I cannot fathom how someone could/can behave in such a way, and think it’s OK.

Well, it is not OK. But fortunately, my son knows he can rely on at least one person… me, his mother.

Advertisements

17 thoughts on “On This Day Three Years Ago

    • Thank you, Derrick. I think how lucky I was to have had my credit card details, whilst the card itself was in the UK. I’m definitely grateful for being able to book mine and my son’s flights online.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Thanks for sharing this Persia, about your story. Now I have a better idea of what happened to you. I am recovering myself. Progress is slow but steady. I found great comfort in The Lord. It really helps.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry to hear you had a terrible experience also. Progress is slow, but keep going at your own pace. Don’t let anyone tell you “get over it” or the like. Take your time. It’s your Healing Journey, and I wish you all the best along your path.
      I too found comfort in God. When all was lost, He and my son were all I had left. Although sometimes my faith is tested greatly, it’s still here.
      Thank you so much for your comment. ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Wow, Persia. It take a lot of courage to share from this place you were in. You are no doubt helping others through your inspirational words all the time. Hope you have a fantastic holiday season. Keep up the excellent work.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I tried to put it behind me, but these things have a way of resurfacing. It hurts less and less as time goes by. If sharing my experiences helps others, then it is definitely worth telling my story.
      Thank you. Your words are kind. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season too. Much love.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I am touched by the brutal blow you were dealt and how you overcame it. God bless, Persia, and I am so happy you and your son have comfort, peace, and stability in your lives now. I am not surprised (as someone who’s followed your blog for a time) that you’ve forgiven the bastard, though I hope he’s matured enough to realize he lost out on the most precious thing in his life, your and Max’s love and presence. Hugs!

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are truly a lovely man ❤. It was (and still is to a certain degree) a very rough path to walk. Especially with a new born to worry about. I prayed – a lot. When I finally got out of the situation, I was so angry with God, and almost walked away from my faith. I went through so much, often hoping I would die to put me out of my misery. Then I realised, if I did not forgive my son’s father, I would be just be hurting myself and my son with my bitterness.
      I do not think he’ll ever change, but for now, because I’ve exposed him, he’ll be sure to try and prove me wrong. However, the mask always slips. Always. It’s only a matter of time.
      Thank you for your support. I really appreciate it. God bless you too, my friend. 😙

      Liked by 1 person

Please feel free to leave a comment

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s