“Abusing someone isn’t nearly as much fun if it’s only a party of two. With a crowd, there’s unlimited potential for drama. The narcissist gets to pull a lot more strings that way.” ~ RavenStormsBlog
I remember when I changed my status on Facebook to ‘Single’ last year, *Steve’s mother had a lot to say about it. Despite her son having a wife he had abused (me), and a child who was only four months old (Max) when he entered another relationship, she was not happy that I stopped acknowledging our relationship.
In fact, in a nutshell, she had actually told me I had to wait for her son.
Yes, the stupid bitch went there.
So whilst Steve is there shoving his penis into and impregnating anything with a pulse, she wants me to put up with it, sit back and wait until he was finished and ready to come back to me.
Now I’m pretty sure I don’t have ‘mug’ written on my forehead – in fact I am absolutely positive I don’t. So why on earth would I wait for my abuser to be done with his life, then take him back into mine, only for me to have to build mine up again in a few years time? And may I add, this is after he’s had an additional X amount of children with X amount of different women.
Even at the end of the conversation, whereby I stressed to her that I walked away from her son because of his abusive ways, and that I no longer loved him, therefore would never get back with him, she still insisted that I should not list my status as ‘Single’. See what I mean about bat-shit crazy?
It’s OK though, because she is now ‘best friends’ with Steve’s pregnant girlfriend Britney, so here is what I have to say to her…
This is one of my Twitter accounts (I have two – one for Animal Advocacy; the other for Domestic Abuse and Randoms), in which *Steve’s biological mother was following. I use past tense as I unfollowed her so she unfollowed me a short time afterwards. Oh please, as if there’s a loss on my behalf.
Anyway, as you can see, it was I who made the effort for my son Max to be in the lives of his father’s side. There are more up to June this year, which I had to put a stop to due to the family’s back-stabbing ways. Not one of them came forward after all I had been through and after Steve had sent them a rude message, then cut them off. Yet, I have been told I am not a victim.
It clearly states that despite everything (that has happened to me at the hands of her son), I was still willing to let my son Max know that side of the family. Also, that she loves us both.
Oh really? So ‘normal’ people treat others that they love like shit and you just drop a grandchild because their son is irresponsible by having another child (third) with yet another individual?
And I’m being called ‘daughter/daughter-in-law’, then suddenly when the son who disowns his own family, and who can’t even stand the sight of his own mother, gets in touch with his family because he obviously needs something from them, they suddenly stab me in the back and think that’s OK?
Well, I guess it is. Because I know that next year, year after – in a nutshell, within the next few years, the family will fall out again, there will be a new pawn, the current pawn will be used a scapegoat, and the cycle will continue.
The thing about me is, I don’t put up with bullshit. None of them ever thought I would expose them and write about their behaviours. But I am different. I am not a little girl like the type they are used to dealing with. It’s always been hush hush with what has gone on with them.
But know this Steve and his family…
And unlike others, I’m not afraid to talk about what I know, well, because I can.
You all messed with the wrong woman.
Have a nice day! 😀
*Anna claimed the following:
Anna, 29/04/2011 16:46 – I’m very excited to have you for my sister and love how happy you make my brother. My eldest said to tell you she’s “asiceted you mawwy untle Beaw and I chan’t wait to see you! Wu you Auntie Pewsia!”
(Translation: “Excited you marry uncle Bear and I can’t wait to see you. Love you auntie Persia!”)
Yet, Anna and the rest of his family have some seriously questionable behaviour. It’s statements like this that makes me believe they are his enablers.
I am aware I made *Steve happy. Well, that was until my money ran out, I refused to do what he wanted me to, such as work and pay all the bills, including his daughter’s Child Support , and I called him out on many lies.
A conversation between *Steve’s father and I (typos included). One can see that he refused to make amends with his family despite my efforts. Yet his Step Mother tells me I am not a victim:
Me, 22:04, 12 Dec 2013 – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I cannot believe one person can cause so much destruction.
Me, 22:08, 12 Dec 2013 – He said you said I was only using him for a green card. It was his intention to isolate Max and I. He wanted me to cut off my family and friends because he told me to stop communicating with everyone.
Me, 22:09, 12 Dec 2013 – He said he and I were family enough, moreso when Max came along.
Me, 22:10, 12 Dec 2013 – Hecwas ecstatic when we found out we were having a boy. Even though I said we should contact you, he said no. The only grandson with no communication would upset you. He got great pleasure from saying that.
Me, 22:11, 12 Dec 2013 – One of the reasons he refused to move to Cleveland, TN and make amends.
His Father, 22:08, 12 Dec 2013 – You are my daughter and Max, my heir. As long as I own this land so does he. Steve is a transparent ass clown. No worries. I look forward to the day you and Max come to visit, or stay:-).
Me, 22:15, 12 Dec 2013 – Once I am financially OK, I promise you, we will come visit. I’m thinking of moving back to the US anyway. I only came back to England to get distance from Steve. I haven’t decided where to settle yet! I’ve got a lot to do starting from scratch, but I’ll make it. We love you lots.
Me, 22:21, 12 Dec 2013 – I have to renew my Green Card early (to mid) next year so I will have to come out.
Me, 22:22, 12 Dec 2013 – Please pray it all goes smoothly for me!
His Father, 22:30, 12 Dec 2013 – Without condition, you and Max have a home and base of operation. Plus, an oldman who wants to teach his grandson how to fish, garden, and build our own tree house. I am a very good babysitter, ask *Anna and *Amber:-)
All talk, then he sucks up to his son, condoning his disgusting behaviour.
But then again, his father’s behaviour is no different.
Steve wants something from his family. This is the only reason he is in touch with them. I remember very clearly him saying that his sisters – especially Anna dangles their children in front of their father and step mother to get whatever they can, and that they are users.
Now he believes it’s his turn. Steve doesn’t do something for nothing. If he doesn’t benefit from it, he’s not doing it, trust me.
This particular conversation started when *Anna sent me a message in the early hours of the morning (you can see the time). Ever wondered who started calling *Britney a gap-toothed beast? Here’s the answer!
Me, 04/06/2013 03:04 – She must have paid because he has no money! I know from the bank accounts. He got with her to spite me. That’s backfired big time. She’s with him for what she can get because I know he’s feed her the story of how he has money. The way he was spending too, tells me so. Is your mum still in touch with him? Or did she unfriend him? I can’t begin to describe what she looks like. I just feel ill looking at her.
Anna, 04/06/2013 03:06 – Yeah I’m so sorry I can’t even imagine seeing my husband with another woman, especially a bald gap-toothed beast. The fact that he’s still married and she’s with him shows Me what trash she is! Mom unfriended and blocked him on Sunday I believe
Me, 04/06/2013 03:09 – I told him that she looks really bad in this for many reasons – no matter what he’s told her. She moved into the room WITH mine and Max’s stuff in there. What kind of woman does that? Do you know she has a 2 year old daughter? Doesn’t live with her though. Between them, they have 3 children who’s lives they’re not in.
Anna, 04/06/2013 03:11 – That is so pathetic. Talk about lazy! They deserve to fall on their faces. I couldn’t imagine not seeing my girls every day, it would kill me. They are spiraling downward together and they are going to crash and burn so hard
Those who stir the shit pot should lick the spoon indeed. And when karma comes round to bite them in the ass, they will! 😀
*Steve’s father had asked me if I knew of his whereabouts. I told him what I knew, which was that he was in Marietta, Georgia. To be brutally honest, I couldn’t care less where he was at the time of this conversation, just like I couldn’t care less now.
His Father, 19:54, 12 Dec 2013: Well let’s see what we can find out. His ass will be in jail very soon if he doesn’t start supporting his children.
Me, 20:01, 12 Dec 2013: I know. Child Support told me. The worst thing is I told him to pay what he could and if he was having a difficult month financially, to let me know. That way he wouldn’t have to make a payment for until he’d sorted himself out. This was AFTER what he’d done to me. He said an amount he could afford. I said OK. He never paid a dime, so unfortunately, I had to take “the law” route.
Me, 20:01, 12 Dec 2013: I’ve tried to work with him, but he says I’m taking advantage of him even though he owes me $15,000.
Me, 20:02, 12 Dec 2013: I know I’ll never see that money. I’ve just given up with him.
Me, 20:03, 12 Dec 2013: What would you say to him if you did find him?
His Father, 20:05, 12 Dec 2013: That is something I need to study on. I view him as a sorry ass, deluded, immature, manipulative child, who does not, and never had an excuse to deal with his family the way he has. I would go as far as let him beat the hell out of me, just to prove to him how dasterdly he has behaved. But, only once.
Me, 20:09, 12 Dec 2013: Oh my…
Me, 20:11, 12 Dec 2013: I really wish I could have helped him. I loved him and was ready to stand by him through thick and thin. He just didn’t want to be helped. Hus treatment to me was so poor, I couldn’t begin to explain the pain he has caused and inflicted upon me.
Me, 20:11, 12 Dec 2013: *His treatment
His Father, 20:08, 12 Dec 2013: He was raised to do what is right, because it is right, and leave the consequences to God. That has not changed.
Me, 20:13, 12 Dec 2013: He didn’t like the way I made him send his daughter presents. I tried to get him to work things out with you guys. He told everyone on Facebook that I turned his mother against him – even though they didn’t and still don’t get on.
Me, 20:13, 12 Dec 2013: His current “fiancee” doesn’t encourage him to do what’s right, and he likes that.
His Father, 20:12, 12 Dec 2013: He was spoiled. I should have kicked his ass and his mothers as well. If anything I am guilty of being too, gentle with him. No mas!
Me, 20:17, 12 Dec 2013: He’s so spiteful to me after everything I’ve done for him – to include saving his army career as they wanted to chapter him for not meeting tape, being rude and lazy. I begged the First Sargent to let him work out his contract.
Me, 20:18, 12 Dec 2013: I’m the reason he was able to leave once his contract expired and not be kicked out.
Me, 20:20, 12 Dec 2013: I loved him so much, I fought for him and got the army (so to speak) to back off and leave him alone. They even gave us Tricare to June 2nd 2013, even though he left the army December 4th 2012.
Me, 20:22, 12 Dec 2013: They had said he wouldn’t necessarily get it. But I explained to the first Sargent that I was pregnant and we’d be homeless sooner rather than later and couldn’t pay for medical care.
She took pity on me.
Me, 20:23, 12 Dec 2013: We become homeless anyway, sleeping in the car in Walmart Parking Lot.
Me, 20:24, 12 Dec 2013: No one can say I didn’t try! I almost lost my sanity helping him, and returned to England half the woman I was and very broken.
Me, 20:25, 12 Dec 2013: With literally just the clothes on my back which included his hand-me-down clothes.
His Father, 20:22, 12 Dec 2013: Do you want justice or revenge?
Me, 20:26, 12 Dec 2013: I asked him to send my Psychology degree certificate to my PO Box along with my graduation book. He said his fiancee threw them away. How spiteful can someone be?
Me, 20:26, 12 Dec 2013: Now I have to pay for another one and I can’t afford it!
Me, 20:27, 12 Dec 2013: I’ve been asked this question before…
His Father, 20:23, 12 Dec 2013: And?
Me, 20:28, 12 Dec 2013: God says I have to forgive him. Although I’m trying my best, I have no choice but to leave it in God’s hands. Revenge would make me as bad as he. I cannot seek revenge.
His Father, 20:31, 12 Dec 2013: Well said. However, revenge is best saught through living well. Believe me, I grew up on the hard streets of New York with poor excuses for parents, survived combat and graduated magna cum laude, in spite of my parents hurtful treatment. That felt so good. Put him out of your mind, there is no justice. Just Max, who has family who love him, without condition. Move on for his and your sake, promise you we will come along for the ride:-)
Max “has family who loves him without condition“, eh? That’s why I made all the effort for them to be in my son’s life. Not once during nor after my pregnancy did they try. That’s why when they found out Steve and *Britney are having a boy, they decided they didn’t need Max in their lives after all, as he won’t be the only blood grandson any more.