Would You Know If Your Being Abused?

“He’s deeply fearful that someone rational will “enlighten” you to the abuse that is taking place and thus, tries to remove your friends and family from your life.” ~ Raven Storms Blog

RavenStormsBlog

Would you even know if you were being abused?

It’s that little voice in the back of your head that whispers “This isn’t right,” and the feelings that tug at your heart, begging your brain to listen to that voice. It’s all those things that you shove down because you are so unsure of yourself, unsure of him.

You wonder: Is this abuse?

Abuse creeps over you slowly, silently, in such a sneaky way that many women are completely unaware of its presence until they are completely engulfe by it. And once you’e trapped, it’s hard to get out. Not impossible, but hard. So listen to that voice and watch for the signs, before it’s too late.

2. He has full control of your finances.

Financial abuse is a real thing. It’s the way many abusers keep their victims trapped. Without access to money, escape becomes almost impossible unless you…

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Sociopath Survival

“A Sociopath makes sure to progress the relationship quickly so as to keep you unbalanced” ~ Sociopath Life

SociopathHell.Com

So many readers send emails asking the same question “how do I ever get over this”.  The first thing you need to recognize is that the relationship with the Sociopath was a death. A death of the person you were prior to them, and a death of the relationship itself. So with that being said, you have to grieve. For some that is hard to do because you can’t let go. For other’s children are involved so there is a need for contact. In this post, I am going to make references to previous post I have made that are in the archives. They will be underlined in blue.  Please click on each post and read it. It will help you to survive where you have been, where you are now,  and how to go forward. 

So you already know the signs & traits  of the person you were with…

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Mirror, Mirror…The One Gaze Narcissists Can’t Stand

“For something a Narcissist can not stand, that despite hours symbolically gazing at their own reflection, they can not stand the thought of any one’s eyes truly peering upon them.” ~ Kimberly Harding at Soul Healing Art

Love How Happy You Make My Brother

during your wosrt times

*Anna claimed the following:

Anna, 29/04/2011 16:46 –  I’m very excited to have you for my sister and love how happy you make my brother. My eldest said to tell you she’s “asiceted you mawwy untle Beaw and I chan’t wait to see you! Wu you Auntie Pewsia!” 

(Translation: “Excited you marry uncle Bear and I can’t wait to see you. Love you auntie Persia!”)

Yet, Anna and the rest of his family have some seriously questionable behaviour. It’s statements like this that makes me believe they are his enablers.

I am aware I made *Steve happy. Well, that was until my money ran out, I refused to do what he wanted me to, such as work and pay all the bills, including his daughter’s Child Support , and I called him out on many lies.

Narcissistic Ex Loves New Wife More

“…it’s important to remember that the new partner is being love-bombed by the Narcissist, otherwise she wouldn’t willingly enter into a relationship with them.” ~ Kim Saeed at Let Me Reach

Let Me Reach with Kim Saeed

black-woman-confused1

One of the biggest struggles when detaching from an abusive relationship with a Narcissist is the perception that he or she loves their new partner more.  In fact, it enhances feelings of low self-esteem in the former victim so drastically, that many never fully recover, regardless of how much therapy they receive.

Why?  Because of erroneous thinking that originated during childhood and escalated with the Narcissist’s insidious conditioning which began right after the love-bombing stage and grew increasingly worse during the devalue and discard stages.

What do you mean by erroneous thinking? 

When you first met the Narcissist, he or she spent a great deal of time observing you and your thoughts, doubts, insecurities, and weaknesses.  They may have mirrored those feelings in an attempt to give you a feeling of closeness and comradery.  You finally felt accepted, believing you’d found a partner who would love you unconditionally, until…

Once they…

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You Are My Daughter And Max My Heir

being pleasant again

A conversation between *Steve’s father and I (typos included). One can see that he refused to make amends with his family despite my efforts. Yet his Step Mother tells me I am not a victim:

Me, 22:04, 12 Dec 2013 – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I cannot believe one person can cause so much destruction.

Me, 22:08, 12 Dec 2013 – He said you said I was only using him for a green card. It was his intention to isolate Max and I. He wanted me to cut off my family and friends because he told me to stop communicating with everyone.

Me, 22:09, 12 Dec 2013 – He said he and I were family enough, moreso when Max came along.

Me, 22:10, 12 Dec 2013 – Hecwas ecstatic when we found out we were having a boy. Even though I said we should contact you, he said no. The only grandson with no communication would upset you. He got great pleasure from saying that.

Me, 22:11, 12 Dec 2013 – One of the reasons he refused to move to Cleveland, TN and make amends.

His Father, 22:08, 12 Dec 2013 – You are my daughter and Max, my heir. As long as I own this land so does he. Steve is a transparent ass clown. No worries. I look forward to the day you and Max come to visit, or stay:-).

Me, 22:15, 12 Dec 2013 – Once I am financially OK, I promise you, we will come visit. I’m thinking of moving back to the US anyway. I only came back to England to get distance from Steve. I haven’t decided where to settle yet! I’ve got a lot to do starting from scratch, but I’ll make it. We love you lots.

Me, 22:21, 12 Dec 2013 – I have to renew my Green Card early (to mid) next year so I will have to come out.

Me, 22:22, 12 Dec 2013 – Please pray it all goes smoothly for me!

His Father, 22:30, 12 Dec 2013 – Without condition, you and Max have a home and base of operation. Plus, an oldman who wants to teach his grandson how to fish, garden, and build our own tree house. I am a very good babysitter, ask *Anna and *Amber:-)

 

bullshit to your mouth

His Father calls him a transparent ass clown. Yet when he found out Steve’s girlfriend *Britney was having a boy, Max suddenly didn’t matter.

All talk, then he sucks up to his son, condoning his disgusting behaviour.

But then again, his father’s behaviour is no different.

Steve wants something from his family. This is the only reason he is in touch with them. I remember very clearly him saying that his sisters – especially Anna dangles their children in front of their father and step mother to get whatever they can, and that they are users.

Now he believes it’s his turn. Steve doesn’t do something for nothing. If he doesn’t benefit from it, he’s not doing it, trust me.