Domestic Abuse Victim Shares the Sickening Texts She Was Sent by Her Controlling Husband

This reminds me of what I went through. I remember when I needed to get away from my ex-husband, so went for a walk and ended up at a shopping mall. He had called a few times, but I ignored him. Shortly after I sat on a bench, there he was! How the hell did he find me?

Another time it happened, I turned my phone off for peace. He didn’t turn up.

Then I had a thought…

One day, I watched him drive off to work, and immediately called our mobile/cell phone provider to find out if what I was thinking was true. Well, well, well. My hunch was right. He had activated a tracker on my phone – something the provider had introduced in case parents wanted to find out where their child/children were, should they believe they were in danger.

From the article:

In one batch of texts, krissykross revealed he sent seven consecutive messages over a short space of time demanding to know where she was, where she went for lunch and who she was with – before telling her to call him.

In another abusive exchange, Adam reveals how he set traps to see if his girlfriend had come home – and berated her for going out “in secret”.

Then there was the deaths of my kittens

Rupert, Stewart and Jacob

Oxanna and Phoenix

From the article:

While another harrowing text exchange sees the boyfriend say: “Take a picture holding 3 fingers and send it to me now. Do it where I can tell its your moms house. You have 5 mins.”

Krissykross revealed she finally decided to leave her ex-husband when he hurt her dog and kitten.

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South Carolina Lawmakers Restore Funds for Domestic Violence Victims

“If the funds go away, I feel that the abuse is going to increase,” said Doug Warner, who lost his daughter to domestic violence and is the founder of a non-profit in Charleston that is dedicated to assisting victims and their families.

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How to Discover if Your Partner Has a Violent Past

Clare’s Law allows men and women to find out if there is a history of violence with their partners. The legislation came into effect in 2014.

The Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme (DVDS) was nicknamed ‘Clare’s law’ after Clare Wood, who was strangled and set on fire by her ex-boyfriend in Salford, Greater Manchester, in 2009.

Grimsby Telegraph

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Why Emotional Abuse and Forced Sleep Deprivation Are Effective Tools to Gain Compliance: Part 2

My abuser noted early on that when I have been asleep for short periods of time – generally 30 to 45 minutes, or so – and I am awakened abruptly, my brain does not like return to a fully alert state. I would be in a daze and confused, and although able to function in a basic manner, I would be pretty much incoherent. It did not take him long to turn this into a method of abuse.

Amy, Picking Up the Pieces

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Why Emotional Abuse and Forced Sleep Deprivation Are Effective Tools to Gain Compliance: Part 1

…a tool used by abusers against their victims that few recognise as abusive is forced sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation is actually a hybrid of emotional and physical abuse, because not only are there profound emotional effects on the victim when sleep deprivation is used, there are also dangerous physical effects as well.

Amy, Picking Up the Pieces

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On This Day Three Years Ago

I was reminded of this post on Facebook this morning. On this day, three years ago I wrote:

Sorry, this is a long but meaningful post…
A year ago today, the exact time (Eastern Time), stood in Aldi with just the clothes on my back (to include broken footwear) with my 5 day old son, to do some Christmas food shopping. I had $11 (approximately £8) in total. There was no Christmas Tree. No presents. No food. Just a small, cramped, draughty, mould infested room that we were due to get kicked out of 4 days before Christmas if rent money wasn’t found.
Just the day before, I was handed 2 cannisters of formula from a paediatrician for free because she could see the state I was in. I couldn’t say anything because I was so ashamed that I was put in such a situation by someone else. I suppose as a mother herself, she could sense something was wrong. I cried. Max had food for at least 2 weeks. Bearing in mind just a day earlier at just 3 days old, my son had run out of formula Wellstar Kennestone Hospital had kindly given me, knowing I was in need.
I found a way to get formula. Thank God for Babies “R” Us taking international payments online, otherwise Max would have gone hungry as I didn’t have my credit card on me. I’d spoken to my mother a few months earlier who gave me my credit card details to write down in case of an emergency. I refused to tell her, the rest of my family and my friends what was going on.
All this suffering and pain caused by Max’s father because he’s selfish and only thought about himself. Cigars, cigarettes and junk food for him were more important than making sure his son was fed, and had a roof over his head – despite the amount of money we initially had. It was all gone due to his reckless spending. His behaviour was shabby to say the least. That’s putting it mildly. This is just a “taste” of what I experienced out in the US with him. I walked away from him and have never looked back.
However, I have forgiven him – not just because God says I have to, but so I can find peace within myself. I don’t want Max growing up seeing me bitter and twisted. I will never forget though. Ever.
This year Max is so spoilt! No where near going hungry or homeless because of an irresponsible father. In fact, he has a Christmas Tree, food in abundance, no mould and Christmas will be celebrated as I know it. The roof is permanent for as long as I need/want it.
I only want 2 presents this year and I already have them. 1) My son Maximus and 2) the knowledge that he will never remember the poverty he was unnecessarily born into. The cost? Priceless. The best things in life are free.
If I don’t get a chance to post a status closer to Christmas, have a blessed one all. Sending love from Max and I.♡X♡X

As time has gone by, even though I am not where I thought I would be, I look back and realise things could be a lot worse. Just like they were back then.

I am thankful I am no longer in such a situation, but more so, I am thankful that my little boy does not know the poverty he was unnecessarily born into, by the actions of someone who should have known better. Someone who was supposed to make sure he was provided for, rather than just thinking about himself. I cannot fathom how someone could/can behave in such a way, and think it’s OK.

Well, it is not OK. But fortunately, my son knows he can rely on at least one person… me, his mother.