‘Tis The Season

New blog post on Maximus Octavian.

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The Early Gifts From Him


We went to *Steve’s father and step-mother’s house December 21st as he wanted to see if something he had ordered online had arrived. It had. A gift for me! It was a silver chain with a heart-shaped pendant, that housed a black pearl in the centre. I didn’t like it, but did not say so. We had already had a discussion about what type of jewellery I liked; I preferred yellow gold to silver, platinum or white gold and had told him so. I didn’t want to come across as ungrateful, so I accepted the gift. He looked so pleased with himself as I opened it, and said the pendant represented his arms around me. He proceeded to tell me it cost $100.00. I have no idea why. It wasn’t until nearly two years later I would find out it had actually cost $49.00.Why lie?

It didn’t stop there. Steve also presented me with a silver ring. It was apparently, my engagement ring with cubic zirconia “stones”. Again, we had had a discussion about the type of ring I would prefer to which I had said yellow gold, solitaire. Was it me, or was he asking me these questions just so he could do the complete opposite? I disliked it – especially as he had told me that he was engaged before to a Latino girl, whom he had been with for three years, but had only seen once (yes, once!), and her ring had three stones too. He’d gotten her ring hand made in Canada for $800.00. As he says the story goes, she’d been cheating on him and left him standing at the airport three times after purchasing tickets for her and she never showed. I was to find out later that by the time he had proposed to me, aged just 23 he was on his fifth engagement (one of which was to a man he’d met online but hadn’t actually met in person, and would ultimately deny). Each woman who had received a ring, had gotten a three stone setting.

Anyway, Steve told me he had spent a long time trying to pick out the right ring for me, and once again felt he had the need to tell me how much it cost him. €250.00 in Germany. He also added that he would replace the cubic zirconia stones with a real diamond each year for three years. It never happened. Not even one. No attempts had been made either. When the relationship was over, I had the ring checked out. It was worth approximately $20.00/£14.00 – if that…

It wasn’t the cost of the items that bothered me because I really didn’t care (and still don’t!), it’s the lies. There was no need for them. My ex-husband had spoilt me; Gucci bags with matching purses, expensive footwear, perfumes, expensive meals, cocktail bars and holidays all over the world. So when Steve said he was just a “lowly, humble soldier”, I told him I was not after financial or material gain from him. It was the truth. I wasn’t. I had a job I loved, so was independent. He seemed to have forgotten that it was he who chased me.

(*Not his real name).