I Have No More Words

I Have No More Words

What is going on in the world?

Every day, I wake up to tragic news.

My heart is broken for all the lives lost.

For all those who have suffered and are suffering.

I don’t know what else to say.

I have no more words.

My Beloved London

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Image from the web

It is not common for me to post at this time, as it is quite late here in London. But I have something on my mind. It is with a heavy heart that I write this.

Some of you may have heard about what happened in my beloved London today. (If you want to read about it, click here).

(I wrote on Facebook): ‘My heart goes out to the families of the deceased, and may those who were injured recover swiftly’.

Thank you to wonderful Tony (at Tony Burgess blog) and amazing Amy T (Picking Up the Pieces) for checking in on Little Yum-Yum and I on Facebook. I really appreciate it.

For the past few hours, I have been hearing search helicopters, as there was a crowd of police and a ‘lock down’ at Kennington Tube Station. (Click here to view).

For those who follow my son’s blog, it was only Friday (17.03.17 – 5 days ago) that I posted it was a glorious day, so we went to Kennington park (see image from his blog below).

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Whilst I do not live in Kennington, this is just too close to home.

I want to swear. I want to cry. I want to hide forever. I want to shout. I want to scream.

But most of all, I want World Peace.

I can’t take this any more. As I listen to the helicopter circulating, I look at my innocent son, worried about his future. And the thing is nowhere is safe as this bulls**t is happening everywhere.

Peace.

World Peace.

It’s not just London; I think this way about every single tragic event I read about all over the world.

This beautiful world we live in, but humans choose to self-destruct.

I’m drawing to a close now, as I am finding it difficult to type through the tears, pain and sorrow. (Please accept my apologies in advance for any typos). I just want to ‘say’ one last thing.

I pray every single night. Sometimes, I simply thank Him for my blessings, because I feel guilty for asking  for too much. More often than not though, my prayers are long. I even pray for the same things when I go to Mass Friday mornings. At times, some of the things I pray for change. But one thing does not…

I pray for God to help mankind. And I’ll never stop praying for that.

Stay safe. Stay well.

Good night folks.

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What Would You Do?

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This morning, after taking Max to pre-school, I decided to run a couple of errands.

I spotted a homeless gentleman sat on the ground.

Anyway, I continued to go in and out of various shops, but could not get this gentleman out of my mind.

Once finished, I went back to the same spot in which I had seen him moments earlier. He was still there. As I approached him, I noticed he was doing a crossword puzzle.

Me: “Excuse me sir, are you hungry?”.

Him: “Yes”.

I was taken aback by how well spoken and polite he was. Stood very close to a McDonalds, the conversation continued –

Me: “What would you like sir?”.

Him: “An egg mcmuffin please”.

Me: “With cheese?”.

Him: “Yes”.

Me: “Would you like some tea or coffee?”.

Him: (with a look of surprise and nodding gratefully) “Yes, coffee please!”.

Me: “With or without milk sir?”.

Him: “With”.

Me: “OK, please wait a moment”.

I went into McDonalds and ordered what the gentleman asked for. When asked would if I would like the meal, I had no idea what to say, as the order was not for me. I opted for it anyway. Gathering some sugar, napkins and a stirrer, I received his order and returned to him. He was busy doing his crossword again, so didn’t notice I was back.

Me: (stooping down in front of him) “Excuse me, here you go. I didn’t know if you wanted sugar, so I picked some up for you anyway”.

Him: “Thank you. I don’t take sugar, but I will save them for later”.

Me: “Is there anything else I can get for you? Water perhaps?”

Him: (looking surprised again) “No thank you, I have some water here. God bless you”.

Me: “Take care of yourself”.

(After the words left my lips, I thought to myself that I was rather dumb to say such a thing to him, he’s homeless. However, I did not mean any harm by it).

One thing I definitely cannot sit by and watch, is someone going hungry. This is all too real for me. During and after my pregnancy, I was denied food by my abusive ex husband. I was losing weight (whilst he was gaining), and he would sit in front of me – whilst I was weak from hunger and heavily pregnant – eating full meals, laughing at me. All two-hundred and sixty plus disgusting pounds of him.

I was so upset for this man, I started heading in the wrong direction without realising, as I didn’t want him to see the tears running down my face.

I cried all the way home, heartbroken that mankind is in such a state.

And there is nothing I can do about it.

*Image from the web.

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A Total Stranger

Yesterday, I went out to pick up fresh fruit and milk for my son Max, and a few items for myself. As I approached the supermarket/grocery store, a homeless man asked me if I could spare any change.

I had no cash on me, as I tend to purchase items with a credit or debit card. So, I said I was sorry that I did not have any money on me. He said “OK, thanks”. I paused for a moment, then moved towards the ATM, withdrawing what monies I had in my account.

As I passed him again to get a shopping trolley/cart, I asked the man if he was hungry; he said he wasn’t as he had just eaten a sandwich. I then asked him if he would like a drink; he said he would like a bottle of coca-cola. I said “OK”, and told him that if I had any money left over after my shop, I would give it to him.

Once in the store, the first thing I picked up was his bottle of coca-cola. As I pushed the cart around, I thought of this man more and more. He spoke good English, but I could hear a slight accent. Anyway, I picked up all the items I needed for Max, but left the items I needed for myself. It was the only way I would be able to give the guy any money.

After paying for my items, I left the store and handed the man his drink. However, I did not give him the money as I had planned to. What I did do, was talk to him. He may not have liked what I had to say, but at no point did either of us raise our voices, and to be honest, I think he was grateful that someone took time out to acknowledge him.

After he told me where he was from, it explained why there was a slight accent. I asked him why he would leave his country of origin to be homeless in another country? Not really explaining himself well, I went on to say that he is a country of opportunities, and that he should use that as a stepping stone to do better for himself. I asked him if he took drugs. He said he used to, but could no longer afford it, so now he doesn’t. I told him there are places he can go, hostels for example, where he will be helped to get back on track with his life. They will help him to find somewhere to live and will help him to get a job.

He told me he had been looking for work, but he has to do it online. I told him to go to the library, as he can look for work for free using their computers and internet. Even if he can only use the facilities for one hour a time, go away for half an hour, then go back. “I know, I have to make more of an effort” he said.

The conversation went on for quite a while. I reminded him that there are people worse off than he; those who are starving and truly suffering because there is nothing there for them. They cannot do anything about their siltation, but he can do something about his.

The conversation came to close with me telling him, “I come here every week to top up on groceries. When I come back in a few weeks time, if I see you here, I want you to be here because you are waiting for me, to tell me you are doing something to improve your situation. I don’t know what got you where you are right now, but you cannot remain like this. You need to let it go and pick yourself up. Make an effort with your life, because if you don’t, no one else will do it for you. Promise me, you’ll have good news for me in a few weeks”. He nodded, indicating that he would. I handed him the money I had needed for my own items in the store. I told him to get something to eat. He thanked me.

I could see the tears in his eyes. Tears were welling up in mine too. I could not let him see me cry for him. I grabbed my bags and walked away…

For some reason, this stranger touched my heart. I wish I could have done more for him, but I couldn’t.

The moral of this ‘story’?

I did not tell of this to make myself look good nor to get praise. I’m just trying to show that even with very little, you can still help a fellow human being.

The world can only become a better place if we are kind to each other.

Much love. ❤

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