Why Emotional Abuse and Forced Sleep Deprivation Are Effective Tools to Gain Compliance: Part 2

My abuser noted early on that when I have been asleep for short periods of time – generally 30 to 45 minutes, or so – and I am awakened abruptly, my brain does not like return to a fully alert state. I would be in a daze and confused, and although able to function in a basic manner, I would be pretty much incoherent. It did not take him long to turn this into a method of abuse.

Amy, Picking Up the Pieces

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Why Emotional Abuse and Forced Sleep Deprivation Are Effective Tools to Gain Compliance: Part 1

…a tool used by abusers against their victims that few recognise as abusive is forced sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation is actually a hybrid of emotional and physical abuse, because not only are there profound emotional effects on the victim when sleep deprivation is used, there are also dangerous physical effects as well.

Amy, Picking Up the Pieces

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Sociopaths, Approval and Victim Perfectionism

“Unbeknownst to the victim, all this complaining and criticism of others is part of her grooming and has nothing to do with who those people the sociopath is talking about really are and everything to do with elevating the new/current victim into a higher degree of compliance.” ~ Love-Life-OM

Love—Life—OM

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Sociopaths openly debase others in order to brainwash their new/current target into absolute and complete compliance.

The new/current target serves as the sociopath’s attentive audience. The new/current target listens with deep interest and awe as the sociopath talks about his disapproval and disgust of those from the sociopath’s past.

“She was so lazy.”

“She never cooked for me.”

“When she did cook, it was terrible.”

“He was so fat.”

“She pretended to work hard.”

“She was so fake. Her friends were fake too.”

“She only had that job because they didn’t know where else to put her in the company.”

“He was so arrogant and really thought he was something special.”

“She was so spoiled. Daddy was always bailing her out.”

“He just used me for my connections.”

“She gained so much weight and left the laundry unfolded for days in the basket.”

“She dressed like a slob.”

“She was…

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Amber’s Story: “I Hid The Knives During Fights.”

Much of what is written feels like it was my own story/experiences.

“I was told certain people were not my “real” friends, his family didn’t like me, I was a bitch, a cunt and a whore.” ~ Amber’s Story

“I married him because he wouldn’t believe I really loved him unless I did.” ~ Amber’s Story

Love—Life—OM

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Each day during the month of October, I will feature a story in my CDN column written and submitted to me by a survivor of domestic violence. At the end of October, a compilation of all stories will be available for free as an e-book.

October 2, 2014: Shattering domestic violence myths — Amber’s Story: “I hid the knives during fights.”

BETHESDA, Maryland, October 2, 2014 — Amber* is a scientist and beekeeper who lives, works and raises her family in the United States.


Before the relationship, I was an independent thinker with strong opinions that I didn’t necessarily share. Everyone has an opinion, and they are entitled to it. I don’t need to argue my point to sway opinions. I had a diverse set of friends with differing opinions from mine as well.

During the relationship, my beliefs were challenged. My political and religious beliefs were thrown at me…

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Your Addiction To The Sociopath – Thank The Abuse Cycle

This is a good post, however I must point out, I left my (ex) husband. Never looked back and never will!

“The sociopath now has someone new to manipulate and control and walk through the same phases of toxicity with fresh vigor and vitality” ~ Love-Life-OM

Love—Life—OM

Toxic Sociopath Abuse Cycle

In addition to the normal addiction properties associated with falling in love with anyone or anything, when we align with a sociopath, the addictive properties of love are exaggerated and one-side and become the driving force behind our desperate behavior, from the relationship’s inception to its disintegration.

The sociopath idolizes you and provides you with so much approval in the beginning of the relationship, that you become hypnotized and brainwashed into believing you are only worthy when the sociopath approves of everything you do even after the relationship ends.

Why would we want this person’s approval after compiling the laundry list of abuses that the sociopath inflicted upon us, our children and our beloved friends and family?

Because we are addicts and require time to detox, abstain and rewire our brains back to a healthy state of self-love and acceptance.

Unfortunately, we are all in denial of our addiction in the immediate…

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“Forgive And Forget” – I Always Knew This Was Wrong And It Is Narcissist Behaviour

“I find it very sad, that so many grown adults, cannot own their issues, their sins, their abusive behaviours. And narcissists never will.” ~ Healing From Complex Trauma and PTSD/CPTSD

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

 

I see so clearly how this is a typical narcissistic trait – it gives abusive people the perfect way to abuse others and then demand you just forgive and forget – with no consequences to the behaviour.

I see clearly how church people/religious people LOVE to use this to do as they wish, have no consequences to their behaviour, have no repentance and put the full responsibility on the person hurt – to do the forgiving – and call them a bad Christian if they don’t.

Abusive religious people love cheap grace and demanding forgiveness – with no repentance. And projecting blame onto the victims. And telling you, you are wrong to feel angry about the abuse/lies you have endured.

I’ve known since I was a child, that people not dealing with their behaviours appropriately, is wrong.

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