You Are My Daughter And Max My Heir

being pleasant again

A conversation between *Steve’s father and I (typos included). One can see that he refused to make amends with his family despite my efforts. Yet his Step Mother tells me I am not a victim:

Me, 22:04, 12 Dec 2013 – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I cannot believe one person can cause so much destruction.

Me, 22:08, 12 Dec 2013 – He said you said I was only using him for a green card. It was his intention to isolate Max and I. He wanted me to cut off my family and friends because he told me to stop communicating with everyone.

Me, 22:09, 12 Dec 2013 – He said he and I were family enough, moreso when Max came along.

Me, 22:10, 12 Dec 2013 – Hecwas ecstatic when we found out we were having a boy. Even though I said we should contact you, he said no. The only grandson with no communication would upset you. He got great pleasure from saying that.

Me, 22:11, 12 Dec 2013 – One of the reasons he refused to move to Cleveland, TN and make amends.

His Father, 22:08, 12 Dec 2013 – You are my daughter and Max, my heir. As long as I own this land so does he. Steve is a transparent ass clown. No worries. I look forward to the day you and Max come to visit, or stay:-).

Me, 22:15, 12 Dec 2013 – Once I am financially OK, I promise you, we will come visit. I’m thinking of moving back to the US anyway. I only came back to England to get distance from Steve. I haven’t decided where to settle yet! I’ve got a lot to do starting from scratch, but I’ll make it. We love you lots.

Me, 22:21, 12 Dec 2013 – I have to renew my Green Card early (to mid) next year so I will have to come out.

Me, 22:22, 12 Dec 2013 – Please pray it all goes smoothly for me!

His Father, 22:30, 12 Dec 2013 – Without condition, you and Max have a home and base of operation. Plus, an oldman who wants to teach his grandson how to fish, garden, and build our own tree house. I am a very good babysitter, ask *Anna and *Amber:-)


bullshit to your mouth

His Father calls him a transparent ass clown. Yet when he found out Steve’s girlfriend *Britney was having a boy, Max suddenly didn’t matter.

All talk, then he sucks up to his son, condoning his disgusting behaviour.

But then again, his father’s behaviour is no different.

Steve wants something from his family. This is the only reason he is in touch with them. I remember very clearly him saying that his sisters – especially Anna dangles their children in front of their father and step mother to get whatever they can, and that they are users.

Now he believes it’s his turn. Steve doesn’t do something for nothing. If he doesn’t benefit from it, he’s not doing it, trust me.

Cara’s story: “He Was Diagnosed As A Sociopath. I Still Wanted To Help Him.”

This is a sad story. I wish *Cara all the best for the future.

“He would constantly tell people how I was mean to him. He would always say I was laughing at him and making fun. His famous words were, “Go ahead make fun. You’re sick!”” ~ *Cara’s Story

Love. Life. OM. Blog


October 3, 2014 – Cara’s Story of domestic abuse: “He was diagnosed as a sociopath. I still wanted to help him.”

BETHESDA, Maryland, October 3, 2014 — Cara* is a survivor of domestic violence who lives, works and is training to be a yoga teacher in the United States.

I was just getting out of a marriage when Michael* entered my life. He was giving…giving…giving gifts: sweatshirts, concert tickets, inviting me and my daughter on vacations, giving me money and paying off my car. It seemed, at the time, that he was my knight in shining armor. I loved being showered with what I thought was love. Read more…

Each day during the month of October, column author Paula Carrasquillo will feature a story written by a survivor of domestic violence. At the end of October, a compilation of all stories will be available for free as an e-book.

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You Are Not A Victim

whats right with you


When *Steve’s family suddenly ‘switched’ on me a few months ago, in favour of their son/brother’s actions of having another child (with a third ‘woman’) on the way, even though his son with me is a year old, and he doesn’t support either of the children he already has, his step mother, no doubt with the influence of his father wrote this to me:

Step Mother, 26/06/2014 21:15 – I really don’t want to rehash all of that except for the point that you believed what your internet love of your life who was merely a child 11 years your junior had to say over those who you met a few times and did nothing but welcome you with open arms into their homes. I’m sorry but you might want to rethink your line of work because you are really not very good at reading people. Sure were we wary of you we didn’t know you. We didn’t know your motives, but we welcomed you and was always respectful until you were not. If having a relationship with Max means that we have to constantly be looking over our shoulder than I’m sorry to say that we are not interested. If you don’t trust us than I’m sorry for that and that is your issue. Steve is our son and brother so at some point if he was ready then a relationship was going to be tried to be rebuilt. We were trying to build a relationship with you even after all that YOU did and said. Do not put that blame on Steve as the last time I checked you were a grown educated and worldly woman.

You are not a victim but just as much a participant in your life and decisions. I hope you never have to go through that with your son.

As you can see. I am being used as a scapegoat. I have never said that Steve was the “love of my life”, well because quite frankly, he wasn’t, although I did love him. In fact, his step mother now looks very silly for saying that he was, because there is no evidence to suggest that I even thought that. However, it has been memorialised by Steve, that I was the love of his life, as well his current girlfriend, and she won’t be the last.

If he was “merely a child”, then how come this child already had a child? Says a lot for their parenting skills, doesn’t it? Maybe if he was raised properly, he wouldn’t need to chase and date older women, thinking it normal to try to get them to support him. If he is “merely a child”, then how come he is having a third child with a third ‘woman’ when he doesn’t support his first two?

According to *Steve his father is approximately fifteen years older than his step mother. I estimate it’s closer to eight years. How come then, the age gap between them his OK? Pot calling the kettle black comes to mind.

bullshit on your lip

I have no idea what she means about “my line of work”, nor did she explain herself. I think she was just just trying to pull something out of her ass, and I must say, she was successful! It didn’t make any sense!

She goes on to say they were always respectful until I was not. So, I guess she believes with all the drama I was dragged into, along with being called a “ni**er” I should have continued to be respectful by not cutting them off? I think she needs to stop and have a long, hard think about what she said/wrote.

As for them looking over their shoulders, again, I have no idea what she’s talking about, because it was not I who was doing anything behind their backs; it was indeed, the other way around. I believe that once they found out Steve’s girlfriend is having a boy, they just became uninterested in my son Max, because they are all used to using children as pawns, or just walking away from them as they simply don’t care, but act like they do.

The Step Mother also points out, from what I understand from this message, that everything that went wrong was my fault. No surprises there. I suggest she takes a look at his rude message which had nothing to do with me. I think she should take a look at her own relationship with his father, who is always stating that he is going to kill her/have her killed – which might I add, I do not find funny.

She then pulls off with another bullshit statement – that I’m a educated and worldly woman. What has that got to do with anything? She does make me laugh. I understand she was struggling to insult me so had to say something. She’s a first class idiot. Just like the rest of them. Here’s my response:


Me, 26/06/2014 21:44 – You’re entitled to your opinion, but it is very rare for a person to hear that something has been said about them – especially something as degrading as the “n” word, and turn around and actually ask that person if they actually said it.

Yes, I am a grown adult, but HE chased me for ages, not the other way round. I am not the first person who has dated someone younger than me, nor will I be last. It all depends on the individual. He came across as a man, but you are right, he was merely a child. A man would never treat a woman the way he has treated me, not would he not support his own children.

“Internet Love Of My Life” – I think you will find I was supposedly the love of his life, as he made sure he plastered that everywhere. As for internet dating, it’s becoming more and more popular these days, so it’s not a big deal. It’s just about how people portray themselves and about them being honest. I’m not ruling it out. I’d do it again, as many people do. It doesn’t mean because you meet someone on the street, in a bar, etc, they will be any better.

My line of work? You’ll need to explain that one, because my line of work is raising my son on my own.

And what were my motives? The last time I checked, I didn’t have any. I’ve said this before.

If you feel you have to constantly look over your shoulder to be a part of Max’s life, then I’m sorry, but I cannot help you. As I said, if you want to know anything about him, you only have to ask.

I tried to build a relationship with you ALL after hearing all the bad things you all said about me. So either you all did say the things he said you did about me, or he’s lying… so, I believe I can throw blame in his direction if what he said was in fact, untrue.

You mentioned I was rude earlier. If you really want to know what rude is, please take a look at the message(s) that your own son sent you when his Step Mother told him he had to pay for the car, not to mention the message he sent you you all, when I was still in the UK and knew nothing about. The one where he says *Anna owed him money, plus more.

I am not a victim? So I asked him to rape me during my pregnancy? I asked to try to strangle me to death? I asked him to put a pillow over my face, plus more? Those were my decisions? I guess so, according to you.

My son will turn out very different to that of his father, because he won’t be around him for Max to see domestic violence and to continue the cycle.

I wish you all the best. I don’t have any ill-will against any of you. Nor any ill motives. In fact, once again, I have no motives against you at all, only for Max to know his family and have some sort of relationship your son didn’t allow when I was with him.

I’m going to go now. As you know, I am raising Max by myself.

Also, as I said, you can contact me at any time about Max.

Take care of yourselves.

Lots of love, Max & I. xx


i survived

(“I Survived domestic Violence. I Spoke Up. I Chose To Live”).

Thank you Steve’s Step Mother for reminding me that I am not a victim. I was a victim. I am now a survivor. There is a difference indeed. You’re the victim, but choose to ignore that fact, when his father is mentally and emotionally abusing you, by threatening you with your life and acting as if it’s a joke, and when he is making you cry by saying you can’t fit into your en-suite bathroom, so it has to be re-modernised because you’re too fat. Not to mention that he settled with you because the woman he actually wanted to be with decided to be with another man. This is just to name a few.

Good luck to you.

I Was Just Respecting His Wishes

enough of your issues

Two messages received on separate occasions from *Steve’s eldest sister *Anna. More proof that this family is messed up – regardless of whether or not it is against each other or their partners.

Here, she is talking about her mother. (“Bear” is a nickname for him from childhood. All typos have been included too):

Anna, 07/01/2011 01:49 – Poisia, I’m glad you and Bear have made up, I hate to think that she’s come between you two. I’m also so sorry that you’re having to deal with all of this right now. Hopefully it will be over soon, or at least bearable. Anyway, I hope you have a good day! Muah Muah! Anna


The next message shows that at a whim, they suck up to Steve, hence condoning his ridiculous and spiteful behaviour. He acts like a child when you call him out on anything, then tries to get people to side with him. Generally, he is successful with his ‘family’, as they are really the only ones who believe and/or puts up with his bullshit:

Anna, 22/01/2011 20:54  – Hi dear, Persia, I want you to know I genuinely care for you, and I’m sorry you were hurt this morning. When Bear IMed me I was still asleep and a bit out of it, but he seemed upset and asked me to block you…I didn’t want to but did it out of respect for him. As soon as he said you all were ok I undid it. Please please don’t think it had anything to do with you, I was just respecting his wishes. I hope your day gets better. I adore you. Anna Moo

Just because he and I had a disagreement, he asked members of his family to block me on Facebook?! And they did? Oh please! I’m just so glad I’m away from all of this crap now!

It’s Been Going On For A Long Time

you smell like

The whole family has serious issues – particularly mentally. This goes without saying.

*Steve’s biological mother was all over me like a rash, especially at the beginning of our relationship. I remember he and I argued something fierce because his mother was saying ill things about him to me, such as he has anger issues due to the way his daughter’s mother *Dawn treated him. Also, Steve did not want me to be friends with his mother because he hated her, and didn’t want me to be like her.

This message from *Anna proves that whatever crap was and is going on, has/had been way before I even came on the scene. (“Bear” is his nickname from childhood):

Anna, 06/01/2011, 20:15 – Hey dear, Bear called me…hope you don’t mind, he said you’re upset because of all this with Mom…which I totally understand. I will tell you the truth, the only thing she said about you was that she thinks you hate her now. And I’m so sorry that you’re being caught in the middle of all of this. It’s been going on for a long time, but it’s really escalating with Bear right now. I have only just recently patched things up with Mom, and trust me, we have all tried telling her she’s messed up, for years! My Dad tried so many times, and she was just in denial. Sometimes I think that big things have to happen to cause people to stop, look around, and really listen. But *Amber and I did write something up that Amber read to Mom, telling her she has got to stop with the crazy, and get some professional help. Anyway, I hope that all of this can be put aside, I don’t want Mom’s craziness to affect your relationship with my brother, me or Amber. Or even Dad… love ya Anna

Funny how it’s always someone else’s fault – namely Steve’s ex’s, as they now use me as a scapegoat and act like a united front…