My abuser noted early on that when I have been asleep for short periods of time – generally 30 to 45 minutes, or so – and I am awakened abruptly, my brain does not like return to a fully alert state. I would be in a daze and confused, and although able to function in a basic manner, I would be pretty much incoherent. It did not take him long to turn this into a method of abuse.
Amy, Picking Up the Pieces
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…a tool used by abusers against their victims that few recognise as abusive is forced sleep deprivation. Sleep deprivation is actually a hybrid of emotional and physical abuse, because not only are there profound emotional effects on the victim when sleep deprivation is used, there are also dangerous physical effects as well.
Amy, Picking Up the Pieces
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Biased preconceptions about men and women have impaired nearly everyone’s ability to identify wife abuse and consequently, our ability to hold abusers responsible for their violence. Even our questions betray a preoccupation with the victim’s choices and responsibilities rather than those of the perpetrator. We ask, “Why does she put up with it ?” rather than “Why does he beat her?” ~ Diary of a Mad White Woman
YES-YES-JUST YES. You can find this article at New Hampshire Bar Association online.
Identifying the Assaultive Husband in Court: You Be the Judge
By: David Adams, M.Ed.
Reprinted with permission of The Boston Bar Journal, a publication of the Bar Association. David Adams is Co-founder and President of Emerge: A Men’s Counseling Service on Domestic Violence. He is a nationally known expert on counseling assaultive husbands.
Individual and institutional suppression of the truth frequently run parallel courses in history. Even when the truth is not actively suppressed, it is sometimes resisted because of the low status of its tellers. Such is the case with wife abuse. The ability of individual perpetrators to conceal or justify their violence has been facilitated by a criminal justice system that has historically ignored or blamed the battered woman (Taub & Schneider, 1982: New York Task Force on Women in the Courts, 1986). But the…
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A sad, but inspiring poem by Robin.
by ~ Robin
I remember that night
When he first caught my eye
He had a penetrating gaze…
Never looked away as he walked by.
He made me feel special
Said all the things I longed to hear
At the time I was so lonely
And he always kept me near.
After a while
He stopped answering his phone
I never knew the reason
Why I was suddenly alone.
He was in a bad mood he’d say
And didn’t want me to suffer
I guess I’d miss the red flags
Because they smelled like flowers.
He asked me to marry him
The ring was flashy and impressive
I thought he must really love me
To go through that much effort.
Six months passed
And he was drifting away
It was me, he said
I’d gained too much weight.
He was leaving me for her
And showed no remorse, not a…
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This is exactly how my (ex) husband *Steve behaves. And then some. It’s as if this video was based on him.
“…if you’ve known a psychopath, or even someone with some psychopathic traits, then you will most likely recognise the manipulative communication style…” ~ The Crust In Peace
